Watching Euro 2012 and completely useless right now. Regarding the almost getting arrested though, yes, it's true. For two hours on Monday a police officer drove around un-fun parts of Nairobi with myself and the driver saying he was taking us to jail.  The driver had hit a pedestrian who was in the back seat with me. He was fine, but when the driver hit him the police had seen the whole thing.

It was the driver's fault. Completely. The man was simply standing in the middle of the road and wasn't moving. Stupid, yes, but not worthy of being plowed into. But the driver disagreed and did exactly that. He just drove right through the guy. 

As I said the man was okay, shaken and understandably angry, but okay. But, again, a policeman and a policewoman had seen the entire thing. They angrily came at the car and started pounding on the hood of the car yelling for the driver to pull over. He did and something happened that is never good. A huge crowd surrounded the vehicle. They were just curious onlookers, but one can never know. Kenya has a reputation for public justice.

The policeman (the policewoman was suddenly nowhere to be found) came around to my side of the vehicle and demanded that I get out. I was surprised as to why I should get out and played the role of confused foreigner. He repeated his request while banging on the door, "You are to ALIGHT HERE!" I looked at the intensity of the policeman's face and the large crowd around the car and decided now was not a good time to pick a fight.

So I got out and the policeman got in the front seat and began yelling at the driver in Swahili. In the meantime, there I am with a large crowd of Kenyans wondering what to make of me. So I engaged them in conversation:

Me: Hello my friends! (I think I shook a hand or two) What is the situation here? What should I do?

Crowd: You need to get into the back of the vehicle.

At this point the policeman had directed the man who was hit to get into the backseat of the car and was wanting me to get into the back seat as well. The crowd alerted me to this request. So I got in and must say that I was relieved to have the car leave the eyes of the crowd.

As we drove the policeman was yelling in Swahili and English. One thing I remember most was when he yelled, "NO ONE is above the law!!" I secretly agreed with him and we kept driving.  Then he said, I am taking you both to jail." That's weird was my thought.

So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I turned to the young man who had been hit, who was sitting next to me in the car and I said:

Me: Hello my friend! Are you okay? Wewe sawa? Are you hurt?

Man: Very shy, Yes, I am okay.

Me: Oh that is so good my friend. Do you go to church? Do you believe in Jesus?

Man: I do not go to church but I do believe in Jesus.

Me: That is so good. I am so glad you are okay. Maybe we should thank God that you are okay, that everything is fine and continue on our days. What do you think my friend?

Man: Pointing at the policeman, He is in charge now. 

That's pretty weird I thought. The cop is in charge. He seems upset. I was still amazed that the driver had simply plowed into a man in the road. A man that he had seen in front of him for at least twenty feet before he hit him. W-E-I-R-D.

The policeman at this point is still talking about jail so I did what I had hoped not to. I called Darlene who was at the apartment that morning, she was staying home because she had a bad cold. 

Darlene: Hey Babe.

Me: Hey honey, I don't want you to worry or anything, everything is fine, but I think I'm being taken to jail.

Darlene: What?!?!?

David: Yeah, weird. The driver hit a pedestrian. Listen, I need the number to the embassy. I think it's better if I don't go to jail.

Darlene: Okay, uh. Are you okay? 

Me: Yeah, everything is fine. It's just a weird situation.

So Darlene started contacting her embassy contacts and the cop kept yelling about jail. So I touched the cop gently on the shoulder and said:

Me: My friend,

Cop: What do you want?

Me:  My friend, I am so glad you are here, you are doing such a professional job. I just need to inform you that a security car from the US Embassy is coming to where we are. 

Cop: They are coming or you are going to call?

I was wondering which one he wanted to hear the least so I responded with a vague, My wife works at the embassy. I called her.

Cop: So a car is on its way?

So that's what he didn't want.

Me: Yes, a security car is on its way. (Not)

Cop: Why did you do that?

Me: My friend, the US Government is my big mcubwa (spelling is probably wrong but means boss) and if situations like this arise we are required to call them. You are doing such a great job (Not) and they will not interfere with you (I think), I just need you to know that they are coming to assist in the situation (Not).

The policeman immediately told the driver to pull the car to the side of the road. We had been driving around so much that I realized we were not actually that far from where the whole incident began. The driver got out and walked to the passenger side to talk to the cop. I took the opportunity to get out of the car as there was no crowd and things felt better out of the vehicle. 

I went back to working phone numbers Darlene was sending me to actually talk to someone at the embassy. I kept trying to call the duty officer but no one was answering. Eventually, the cop came up to me (after much time of yelling at both the driver and the man who had been hit) and said:

Cop: Everything is okay now, this man has withdrawn his complaint.

Me: Oh that is so very good. So what does that mean exactly?

Cop: It means that everyone can go.

Me: Oh that is so good. Do you go to church my friend? Do you believe in Jesus?

Cop: Smiling. No, I am a Muslim.

Me: Smiling back. OK, then inshallah (if God wills it) this will never happen again.

Cop: Laughing. Yes!

And then he was gone. And then the man who was hit slowly walked away. I asked the driver if he had given the cop money and he said no, the cop just made him agree to buy the guy he hit lunch. Like I said, weird.

I learned a few things later from Kenyan friends I told the experience to:

One, the cop was not taking us to jail (at least initially) but was driving us around hoping that I would say enough and start giving the cop money to let us go.

Two, if the driver had been in the car with a Kenyan the driver would have been taken straight to jail because the cops would not have seen an opportunity for a large sum of cash to come their way.

Three, if I had not called the embassy it is likely that he may have eventually taken us to jail. It was the fear of the US Embassy personnel getting involved that made him want to pull the car over.  I said I was confused about that since the Americans were not going to do anything to the cop. But I was told the policeman knew he was trying to get money out of the situation and did not want to be publicly embarrassed by having more witnesses to his ploy.

Four, the crowd was a bad sign and it was good to have gotten out of its vicinity. Most are just gawkers, but things can change quickly. As an example of public justice being served in Kenya, a short while later we saw two men who had been caught stealing. They were in a very bad spot and after seeing what happened I'm questioning if yelling thief is the right thing to do if I am ever mugged. How much is my stuff actually worth?

As I read all this I realize I am leaving a lot out. When it was all over I called Paul in Kayole and said Paul, I just almost got arrested so I've had enough excitement for one day. I'm going home to take a nap.

Paul agreed that that was a good idea. And so I did. And I am proud to say the rest of the day I stayed in the apartment and dreamed of a relaxing Lufthansa flight to the U.S. on August 30th. Way too much stimulation for one day.