Welcome! Please come in! Sit anywhere you like we have just opened a month ago. Pick any seats you would like, it is just you two and the other two mzungus over there. Yes, we are currently the only business in this brand new office building. So glad you found us. Oh you read a blog post and now you are here! Wonderful!

Our menu is superb so please allow us to give just one menu between you and your friend. That way you can read it and then he can read it and then you can read it again and then he can read it again and then you can what would you like to drink?

Okay, so here is a beer for your friend and your margarita. What? You do not taste alcohol? That's because the main ingredient is strawberry corn syrup. What? You do not taste alcohol? Ha ha ha, very good my friend.

What would you like to eat? Fajitas for you and enchiladas for your friend. Excellent! I will be right back.

Okay, I am back and have just put in your orders for dinner. May I interest you in any dessert? Oh you want to wait until you have eaten your fajitas and enchiladas. Aha, okay. May I get you something else to drink my friend? Did you enjoy your margarita? You could not taste any alcohol? Ha ha ha, very good my friend.

Well here is your beer and the glass with ice. What? No the beer is not warm but also not baridi. It is neither. Oh, you want a cold one? Okay, a Tusker? Okay my friend.

Here is your tusker. Can I get you guys anything? Okay!

And here are your enchilidas and fajitas. I am standing between you both and have just given your friend his meal but I will now walk to the other side of you and give you yours. Waiting is key. It is also dramatic. What do you want? What? Please say that again you want what? Tortilas? Tortayas? Oh Tortillas!! Why? In America? Really? With fajitas? Ha ha ha, very good my friend! Yes, the chef has said he can bring you some tortillas.

Here are your tortillas. I will now watch you eat.

Can I get you anything? No?

Can I get you anything? No?

Can I get you anything? No?

Can I get you anything? No?

I will give you the dessert menu so that you can order dessert because you should. NO! You should. Oh we have a variety of desserts from the Mexican cuisine. Like our blueberry cheesecake, or our pumpkin pie with strawberry ice cream.  Okay! The pumpkin pie and blueberry cheesecake it is! The chef's special is the cheesecake. He is 23 years old, named Omar, and is from Mexico. He is the head chef! Very early in life yes. And he enjoys what he does and that he has no competition. Oh? You prefer vanilla ice cream with your pumpkin pie? Aha, okay.

Here is your dessert but first please allow me to clean the crumbs that have fallen from your trap. It is very important that I get them all so please keep your conversation going. My you are a pig. I will now wipe your friend's side of the table as well, but only as a courtesy to you. I cannot find a single crumb on his side. Wow, how did you do that?

Here are your desserts. I really do wish you had gotten the strawberry ice cream. Very Mexican. Can I get you anything? Another beer? Are you done with that last bite of fajita? No? You desire to take a last bite or two? Okay, I'll take it then.

Can I get you anything? Oh, you want to use your spoon? That's clever. Can I get you anything? The bill? Of course, here it is.

Thank you so much. Please tell everyone about us.