I think there is going to be a moment when I get back to DC that I am going to feel restless for Kenya and the day to day life here. Something will annoy me; I'll go to class and work and feel useless; I'll read an article about something overseas; or maybe I'll just start daydreaming. And then suddenly I'll tell myself that my life would be more adventurous, more meaningful if I was back in Kayole doing peacebuilding, or that I would find myself in a better mood if I was flying to Rwanda.

What a joke. I thought I left feelings of restlessness and "if only I was back in such and such a place" behind me years ago. But it turns out I haven't. While in Kenya I have often felt the pull of being home. If only we could ride our bikes in Rock Creek Park. If only we could picnic on the Potomac. If only we could go to our church. Unless God has some unforeseen journey ahead of us, in one month and a half we will do these things.  And yet, already, I'm thinking that there will be a time riding through the park when I will start thinking, gee it would be awesome to walk through Kayole again.

Maybe I am over thinking this. I do not think there is anything wrong with other places crossing the mind and remembering good times, but perhaps there is an issue if one is often wishing for somewhere else in the moment. It would be good to be present and rest in the knowledge that God brought us here. To get that, for now, we are not supposed to be riding bikes in rock creek; that we are not supposed to be picnicking on the Potomac; and for this time God does not want us at Advent.

He wants us here. In Kenya. And when he wants us back in DC we will be back in DC. I should remember this even when we go home. When the if only I was in Kenya thoughts begin. Because then I will be where I should be. And if God wanted Darlene and I elsewhere, we would be elsewhere.